I am way too old to pull April fools jokes and never did like to really fool anybody with made up stories. I didn't mind putting dried pinto beans in the kids peanut butter sandwiches or salt in the coffee. You know stupid kinda jokes. But to just tell someone something that would scare or up set them, I never went for.
So when my VERY PREGNANT daughter was going to bed 11 years ago March 31, 1997 I told her NOT to call me telling me she was going into labor! She had been in pre-term labor several times. We even spent 2 weeks in a Little Rock Hospital thinking we were going to have a real early baby!! She promised me she wouldn't. But I know my daughter and she is the type to pull those kind of pranks!! Sure enough at 7 am the morning of April 1, 1997 she calls me saying she thinks she is in real labor. I told her I didn't believe her and for her to call me later when she got to the hospital!
About the time I was leaving for work, my sister in law calls and tells me she is at the hospital with MY daughter and the nurses are telling her Missy up to a 5, what ever that meant! OH, Shoot! I have over 30 minutes of drive time to travel to get there in time. I also ask again if this wasn't just another great April Fool joke. She reassured me it was not!! Now I was really feeling bad, not to believe my only daughter when she is giving birth to her very first child! What a bad mother I was!! So away I went.
I got to the hospital just when they were giving her the epidural. Thank goodness,I didn't have to see my baby in much pain! Which is a good thing for grandmothers.
Now I am a nurse, been one since 1974, have seen lots of babies brought into this old world. Even helped in delivery without the doctor a time or two. So it wasn't going to be a big deal. Also this was not my first grandchild. I had 3 boys already. Two I was there for the grand opening, but not really there for the grand opening!! If ya know what I mean, I was in the waiting room with all the other grandmas. So this was gonna be a piece of cake! Yeah, right!!
My other 3 grands were my son's boys. Now this was MY baby girl! Things are NOT the same!! She wanted me to stay with her and help her. I was now the coach! Her dad got to pace out in the halls where he said men are supposed to be. Well, things were going along just like they had been since the beginning of time. The epidural wasn't working on one side. I told her she was only getting half the fun of child birth!!I had nothing with her. She zipped in so fast!
Where is the daddy of this child you ask? They had a big split up and were separated and she didn't want him anywhere around. I told her this was not a place for this grandma!!
The fetal monitor was really acting up and just about the time the baby was in the birth canal, the whole damn machine went crazy and stopped! The nurse looked at the doctor and the doctor looked at the nurse and I'm yelling what's going on! She picks Missy by the hips and lifts her up and down, off the bed almost! Then everything was back on track. She smiled and said the baby was laying on the cord and she had to shake him off! Hell, I was about to faint!
I was helping Missy with breathing and things were going pretty well and the doctor said "Grandma, you wanna see your grandson enter the world?", I of course said yeah, and looked! I thought something was wrong for sure. The head was only about the size of a small base ball, not like I had seen before. But then the there was a normal size head and what did I see the doctor do? Stand up and pull something from my grand babies neck. It was the cord!! Oh my gosh! 10,000,000 things went through my brain then...I would have fainted if I thought Missy would not have had a fit! Then one good push and the sweetest, purple/blue baby boy was born!
What seemed like an forever before he gave out a big cry and turned as pink as he could be!! Now the doctor turned him around to cut the cord and looked at me to see if I wanted to do the honors, and I shook my head no, I couldn't talk, I was crying so! And about that time the Hunter pees all over the doctor! From head to chest!! I was laughing so hard and crying too, Missy was so scared that something was wrong! The nurse had to tell her things were OK!
They put William Hunter on the scales and he hit 6lb. something oz. Lots of hair, and big black eyes! We were told babies born this soon would be bald, and low birth weight. Well, he Fooled them!! I went over and was having a good look at this kid that caused me so much concern all these months and moments. He looked at me and I got down right in front of him, and told him who I was. I licked my lips and stuck out my tongue and low and behold he did it too!! I told them what was going on and when the doctor was finished with Missy, he came over that said he had seen proud Granny's before but I was the worse. I told him to watch. The baby was just laying there looking around like he was wondering just were he had landed. I got down close to his face, talked softly to him and then when I knew he was looking at me I stuck out my tongue and licked my lips and guess what! HE DID TOO!! The doc said "I'll be damn". And walk out telling the nurse what I was doing!!
Needless to say this has been the smartest grandson I have! He is the best baseball player in town and I know I'm not bragging. It's just fact! NO APRIL FOOL HERE!! But I have made it a rule not to be at any bedside of any family member when they are giving birth!! I'm just too old and get to upset!! And besides, if I did I'd have the kid doing math before they left the hospital..........NOW that's APRIL FOOL!!!
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